Shadows in the Light
by Katharen Silver
Summary: She escaped hell only to come face to face with the demons she thought they had saved her from. Sequel to "When the rain comes down". Enjoy.
1. Echoes

A/N: This is the sequel to _When the rain comes down_ that I promised. I'm so sorry that this sequel has been on hiatus for so long. I'm hoping to update once a week but it may be more or less depending on work and school. If you haven't read _When the rain comes down _you won't understand what's going on so I would suggest you read that first. Hope you enjoy it and thank you all for your support so far.

Spoilers: Everything up to Aliyah is fair game, but nothing from the new season. If this changes I will let you know.

Disclaimer: My birthday was last week and I didn't get them, so I guess sadly they're still not mine.

~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~

Previously on NCIS:

_"Eli is many things but he isn't stupid. He knows that if I'm here his window is limited."_

_ "Are you here to help or make trouble?"_

_ "I always come through, especially for a friend. She's yours."_

_ "And the price for your assistance," _

_ "Is expected to be paid in full… six months…I expect everything you promised."_

They had the papers, and Gibbs had never been so glad to see someone leave as he was to see Amira strut out of Vance's office. Six months would come too early for all of them, but he couldn't dwell on that. His team had to make it through tomorrow first.

When Gibbs looked back at the director his eyes were narrowed at the closing door. He got some dark satisfaction from knowing the director hated Amira as much as he did, even if it was simply on principle.

"You have some phone calls to make," Vance told him with a slight nod. "Then try and get some rest."

Gibbs didn't bother dignifying his comment with a response, and quickly slipped out of Vance's office his phone already in his hand.

McGee answered his phone on the first ring, he had obviously been waiting, they probably all were.

Gibbs regretted not saying goodbye, when he snapped the phone shut, but repeated the action with both Abby and Ducky only moments later. They wouldn't sleep anymore than he would, but he told them all to rest, and let himself hope that maybe they would at least try to rest.

~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~

_1700 In Ziva's apartment. _

Abby can't just sit still, so she goes to Ziva's apartment. Ziva had given her keys not long after her return from Somalia. It was when Ziva's nightmares where still vivid, after living with her for the first two weeks after her rescue, Abby had become painfully aware of just how vivid.

Then a silent apartment had been a blessing, it meant that Ziva wasn't dreaming, but now it felt oppressive.

Abby had gone home first, but couldn't stand the quiet yet here in Ziva's trashed apartment it was worse. The Mossad agents that had searched it had left everything thrown every where.

She knew that Ziva would tell her not to worry about it, that she could clean it herself, but Ziva wasn't there to tell her, and she couldn't just sit still. Slowly and methodically Abby focused on cleaning up her best friends apartment, she wasn't going to sleep, so at least she could do something constructive while they waited.

~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~

_2300 In Tony's apartment. _

Tony was quiet, he hadn't spoken since Gibbs called to tell them they had everything they needed for tomorrows confrontation with Eli and his Mossad agents.

McGee didn't know what to say, and sitting on the couch starring at the wall across from him, he wondered if maybe silence was better. Maybe being alone with their own thoughts was for the best.

They hadn't had any warning the first time Ziva had been shipped off. It had been announced right after Jenny's funeral, and then the next day she was on a plane, Tony was on a plane, and their lives had been turned upside down.

The team had gone back to the bullpen quiet after meeting with Vance none of them knowing what to say. They had packed their desks, no jokes, no teasing, and no games.

Then almost a year later they had nearly lost her in Africa, after Mossad abandoned her there. Where would they leave her next time? Would they be able to save her if Mossad got her on the plane before they reached her tomorrow?

Looking across at Tony's hunched figure and his friend's haunted eyes; McGee knew without a doubt, it was better to leave the silence and each of them alone with their own thoughts.

~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~

_0100 In Gibbs basement. _

Gibbs lay down the sander that he had been using for the better part of an hour. A layer of dust was covering him and the floor around his boat.

He worked on his boats because it helped him focus. Helped him calm down enough to think about the situation at hand, but tonight it wasn't helping. Tonight the steady sliding of the sander moving across the wood couldn't erase the feeling of her shaking in his arms, or her fearful eyes as she pulled away.

If Mossad got her out of the country they would lose Ziva, but it wasn't her death that scared her. It was being subjected to something like Somalia again.

Her eyes had told him everything she would never have said out loud.

If Mossad got her now she would die, because she would never go through Somalia again. She would never make it to the prison her father had planned for her. Gibbs wouldn't let that happen. He would keep her safe. They would keep her safe.

Setting down his tools Gibbs sat down beside his half finished boat. Eli didn't deserve her, and he hoped one day the man would realize it, preferably before if it was too late to change it.

~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~

_0400 Tony's apartment terrace. _

The silence echoing in Tony's apartment was louder than it had any right to be. He wasn't sure how long he had been starring at the floor with a beer in his hand, only that when he came back to himself, shadows had slid through the room, and the beer in his hand was hot.

McGee was starring at the wall across from him, his face a myriad of different emotions as he watched the invisible play of images racing through his mind.

Tony let him face those images alone, not wanting to share his own.

Ziva had kept her shields tightly in place when she had turned to face him in the bullpen, knowing that he would be angry, and yet she had been unable to hide the pain in her eyes as she said goodbye, and turned into her father's arms.

It was the same pain that had been evident on her face only a few nights earlier, as she struggled to tell him about what had happened in Somalia.

His blood had felt like it was on fire that night, just as it had today. He knew that Eli had no idea what he had done to his daughter, what she had been through on account of her mission to Africa. It had taken every ounce of strength Tony had left not to knock the man flat on his back when he lead Ziva away.

Tony had kept her secrets, and he would take them to his grave, but that didn't mean he wouldn't kill Eli the moment he had a chance to.

No matter what happened tomorrow, Tony wouldn't let her go back to Israel, to Mossad. He wouldn't lose her again.

~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~

_0700 A small hotel room not far from the Israeli embassy. _

Ziva had no idea why they weren't staying at the embassy as she had expected. Not that it really mattered. Eli and Mossad had her no matter where they chose to stay the night.

The morning sunlight was dancing across the hotel room. He was waiting for her impatiently, and any moment now he was going to grab her and try to force her down stairs. When she refused he would have the others bind her with cuffs.

If she got out of it without being hit at least once she would be very lucky, he'd never minded putting her in her place before, Eli certainly wasn't about to start now.

His voice was cold when he said her name, and she fought to hide the shudder that raced through her.

At some point he would start to charm her, he would try to convince her he was doing it for her own benefit. That he loved her, and that he wanted her close to him. That she needed to be back in Israel where she was away from the American influences. He had told her as much all those months ago.

Before Africa. Before her prison in Somalia. Before Saleem.

There was a time not to long ago, but a lifetime away that she had believed him. She had let herself believe everything he told her, and tried to pretend that it wasn't just the pain and anger after losing Michael, that was keeping her away from them.

But now was different. There was nothing left to shield herself with. No denial she could use to keep the pain away. This time his charm wouldn't work. His lies wouldn't convince her. This time he had lost her for good, and he would never get her back, no matter where he forced her to go.

This time her heart was staying in America, and she would die refusing to become his again.

He was dragging her across the airport when he froze at her side. The look of anger and hate that passed over his face gave him away, and Ziva turned away from searching for the face that she knew was there.

Sure enough Tony's bright smile greeted her, and after a few cold words she found herself in his arms.

Tony insisted that all she had to do was leave with him, just walk out, as if it was that simple, but it couldn't possibly be. Yet she saw the others, all waiting, and so she took that first step expecting hands, fists, and hateful words to draw her back but they never came.

Her fathers followed her across the airport and into the arms of the only real family she had left. The heat from his gaze was almost painful as Abby lead her out of the airport with the others standing around her as body guards, and into the cars that were waiting for them.

Gibbs got in one, McGee in another, and Tony opened the back doors for Abby who was still holding onto Ziva as if she would never let go. The strange convoy drove slowly away from the airport never slipping out of sight from the others.

It wasn't until Abby opened the door to her apartment and ushered her inside with Tony, McGee, and Gibbs right behind them that Ziva really processed what had happened.

"How?" Ziva asked with a shaky voice, as she and Abby sunk into her couch.

"I cleaned it up last night." Abby said with a small guilty smile that Ziva was all too familiar with.

"You didn't have to."

Abby grinned at the unspoken joke, but simply said, "I know."

"Abs I don't think that's what she meant." Tony said softly his eyes on Ziva.

All eyes turned on Ziva and she nodded slowly. "Why did he let me go?"

Small smiles appeared on everyone's faces, and Ziva found herself smiling to.

Abby reached into her large black purse and withdrew a large orange envelope.

"It's all there," she told Ziva with a small smile. "There was nothing he could do."

Careful Ziva took the envelope from her friend's hands and opened it with shaking fingers.

"How did you …"

"Called in some favors," Gibbs said simply.

Ziva stared at the papers in front of her. One was a letter containing a pardon, for all pending charges, and an excepted resignation from Mossad no strings attached. The second set of papers was a rather large packet that was titled American Citizenship.

"You're safe." Abby promised her softly.

Ziva relaxed releasing the tension she hadn't realized she had been holding since the airport. If she hadn't been there to see Eli let her walk away she wouldn't believe the pieces of paper I, and in her hand could really make her safe, and even knowing she wasn't sure how long they would last. Yet at least for now, Ziva really was safe from Mossad and her father.

One day he might come after her, but for now she was safe, and her family was with her to insure it.


	2. Shadows

Chapter Two: Shadows

A/N: Wow thank you all so much. I can't believe how many reviews and story alerts I've received from the first chapter. You guys are amazing.

Disclaimer: If I wish really hard then maybe … but probably not…

~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~

It's well past noon before everything in Ziva's apartment settles down. Agents had been wandering in and out, bringing messages, or information, for most of the morning, and even Vance had stopped in a few times. However, her team had never moved far from her side. Abby's arms had held onto her tightly since the airport, Tony and McGee never seemed to let her out of their sight, and although Gibbs was often answering his phone he to watched and waited.

It isn't until the last of the other agents finally leave that Ziva speaks.

"I am not going into shock." She say's firmly into the silence.

She knows they are smiling without having to see any of their faces, but she fights to keep her face a calm mask.

Each of them insists they are sure she is fine, but none of them move.

They talk and ignore the fact that she is waiting for them to leave. Her team teases and jokes, and for a moment it's like it was before.

Ziva can't stop the small smile that slips onto her lips as she tells them that she really is fine. For a moment they almost seem to believe her, except they don't relax, don't move far from her side, and most certainly don't leave.

They stay and talk, make her smile, and Ziva feels safe even though soon all her nightmares will come back. With them around her she is kept safe from the dark creeping up, and she can feel herself begin to relax even though she really does know better.

Yet she smiles, and laughs with them, and tries to show them that she is okay. At the same time she forces herself not to think about what will happen when it gets dark and they leave, and she has to face the shadows on her own.

The sun had long disappeared before anyone makes any move to leave. Gibbs is the first. He tells them all that they are expected to report for duty tomorrow, except Tony and Ziva.

Ziva watches as perhaps the two most important men in her life meet each other's gaze. Tony gives Gibbs a small nod of understanding, and she can't help but be irritated by it.

"I do not need a baby sitter." Ziva growls softly, but she yawns at the same moment, and it's not nearly as scary as she had meant for it to be. Not that it would have mattered, at least not really.

"Never said ya did," Gibbs says kneeling down beside her.

He kisses her cheek softly and whispers something in her ear. Whatever he says makes her eyes go wide, and her cheeks turn a soft shade of pink as she tires not to laugh.

The others watch in silence as Gibbs pauses at the door, and Ziva gives him a real smile, the first any of them have seen from her in far to long.

No one asks. They know she won't tell them anyway, so they play a hand of poker and pretend they aren't all wondering the same thing. Games, teasing, jokes, and it is almost the same, but it will never really be the same.

Ziva drifts off to sleep on the couch not long after Gibbs leaves, with Abby sitting protectively beside her.

Part of Ziva screams that she shouldn't feel so safe with all of them here; she knows they won't hurt her, but they also won't stay. She will wake up to the silence of the night and there will be no safety then. Yet Ziva can't help it, and slowly she drifts off to sleep.

It's almost midnight before they leave. Tony tells them they have to go to work tomorrow. He insists they need to go home and get some sleep, but Abby doesn't want to leave Ziva.

"What if she wakes up and we aren't here," Abby murmurs looking down at the sleeping woman beside her.

Tony and McGee glance at each other but neither one smiles.

Abby had refused to leave Ziva when they first got her back. She had taken the first week off, and stayed with Ziva through the worst of it the parts that she couldn't hide no matter how hard she had tried.

Tony touches Abby's arm lightly, bringing her back from the memories months of tearful nightmares had left her, and gives her his best charming smile saying, "I'm not leaving Abby, she won't be alone."

Half an hour later, McGee finally leads a hesitant Abby out of Ziva apartment, after promising to take her home, and Tony promise's that he will call if Ziva needs anything.

The door snaps shut behind them, and Tony returns to the couch in time to hear her soft whimper, and her eyes flicker as she tries to wake. The sound brings a strangled tightness to his chest that is almost painful.

Slowly and careful not to hurt her he picks Ziva up off the couch and carries her to her bedroom. Even in her sleep she tenses as his hands touch her, he pushes down the anger that surges, and instead whispers softly in her ear that "its time for bed."

"Tony," the word is almost too soft to hear, but he hears it.

For a moment he thinks she has woken up, but as he lays her down gently on the bed she doesn't stir.

He shouldn't feel excited that she says his name in her sleep. It shouldn't make him want to reach out and touch her dark curls while she is lost in her dreams, and it definitely shouldn't make him want to lay down next to her and protect her, but it does.

There was a time she would have killed him for staying the night in her apartment, but that was a lifetime ago. Now she might kill him by accident if he scares her, but he won't leave. He won't leave her. Against his better judgment Tony lays down on the bed beside Ziva. She curls into him as if intentionally, and he resists the urge to wrap an arm around her tightly. He settles for brushing her hair from her face, and allowing himself to drift off to sleep with her steady breathing keeping time with his.

~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~

Ziva wakes with a warm body beside her, instinctively she tenses in his arms, until her mind catches up with the rest of her senses. The smell of old spice and pine that is uniquely him surrounds her, and she lets herself relax knowing it's him beside her.

Tony is lying beside her on top of the blankets, while she is safely tucked under them. It shouldn't make her smile, but it does. Her head is pounding again, and her nausea is back, a pressing memory of why she shouldn't stay here in his arms.

Slowly and silently she slips out of bed and heads to the kitchen. It isn't until she takes her first sip of water that she realizes how dry her mouth is. Her stomach convulses as the water hits it, and she has to lean against the cool counter for support.

Ziva needs to think, needs to run, but she doesn't want to leave the safety of her apartment when it's still so dark outside, so she sits in the shadows of her apartment cleaning her gun and thinking.

The blankets beside him are still warm, but she is no where in sight. He moves slowly through her apartment to find her sitting in the kitchen, her gun stripped before her. Tony stands and watches her for several moments, before she tenses realizing he is there.

"You should be sleeping." He says simply as he approaches. "Abby will kill me if she finds out you didn't stay in bed all night."

Its teasing almost like what they had before … well before. Almost. Once maybe she would have run with his open remark, but not tonight. Not here in her apartment, with her mind still racing through to many things to keep track of. Instead she gives him a small smile and tells him she isn't tiered.

They both know it's a lie.

He could call her out on it, and maybe he should, but he doesn't. Tony sits down beside her and watches her finish cleaning her gun slowly, and then put it back together. He doesn't flinch as she loads it, or as she snaps the safety off. He simply sits and watches her, waiting.

"Maybe we should go back to bed," she says finally her fingers running lightly over her gun.

He doesn't remember the last time she teased him, it was a different lifetime. So Tony gives her his best DiNozzo smile and it makes her laugh. It's a soft sound and it surprises them both into silence.

Almost a full minuet later, Tony stands and Ziva follows him into her bed room without another word.

He hears the click of the safety as she climbs back under the covers with her back to him, and suddenly he isn't sure what to do.

Before he can speak he hears a soft voice say, "stay."

It's the only incentive that he needs. Slowly he slides into the bed beside her, careful not to touch her. He lays frozen beside her his eyes watching every breath she takes. Slowly she relaxes at his side, and her breathing evens out as she drifts off to sleep. Soon Tony feels himself relax beside her, and he too falls into the abyss of sleep.

When Ziva wakes a few hours later the sun is only just rising, casting a dim shadow through her bedroom. Her head is resting on Tony's chest, and the warmth of his body next to hers sends a chill through her. His breathing is slow and soft, the rhythm of someone sleeping.

She can't help but feel safe with his arms around her, and her head on his chest, but she shouldn't feel safe with him like this. It shouldn't be as comfortable as it is to wake up in his arms. How many nights had she slept with him beside her? How many morning had she woken in his arms? Too many, but not enough.

When she can't stand the contradiction any more she slowly and carefully slides out of his arms and off of her bed.

Ziva hesitates at the end of her bed. She has to get away from him long enough for her mind to clear. It was stupid of her to ask him to stay, worse still that he did. Everything that has happened between them washes through her, and she stifles a sudden sob.

She has to get away.

Quickly she grabs her running clothes and heads to the bathroom. Ziva changes as quickly and quietly as possible. Still her eyes graze over every scar, every mark that shouldn't be there. He knows. He knows what happened, because she couldn't keep it from him, but he doesn't understand, not really, and for that she is thankful. She hopes to whatever God is still listening that he never really understands, because it's already to hard to face him.

Her phone is sitting on the table, she should take it, and he might call if he wakes and she's gone, but she needs to get away, so she leaves it.

The door closes behind her with a snap, and she takes a deep breath. It will be cold outside, winter is almost here, but she doesn't care. The cold will help her focus, so she takes another breath and starts to run. She runs praying that some how she can out run her demons, but knowing that she never will.

~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~

This time when he wakes the sheets are cold. It doesn't surprise him, not really. He didn't expect her to stay all night, but he had hoped.

He expects to find her in the kitchen, but doesn't. Tony moves quietly through her deserted apartment, not realizing until he reaches her living room that she is gone. Her phone is lying on the table staring back at him, mocking the fear that grips his heart at her absence.

She left it intentionally, and it bothers him more than it should. Its Ziva after all, but it's not really. She isn't the same as she was, and now he can't keep the panic making his breath come in quick breaths. He could go looking for her, but he knows she doesn't want him to. She wants to be alone, that's why she is gone, and didn't take her phone.

Tony sinks down onto her couch. He will give her an hour, it's an hour longer than he wants, but not enough. It doesn't matter though; he will give her an hour to come home before he goes looking. Even though an hour is to long.

~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~

Ziva isn't sure if she wants him to be gone or waiting for her at home, until she hears the click of the lock as she opens the door and sees him sitting on her couch looking worried. It isn't until she sees his face, and the warmth rushes through her that she realizes she can't want him here. He has to leave, before she isn't strong enough to make him leave at all.

She stands in the open doorway her eyes wide with surprise, and it takes everything he has not to walk across the room and touch her, just to make sure she is okay. He can see it in her eyes. Something has changed, the shields are back, but they are colder and it's like a knife to his heart.

"Z?" Tony's voice is worried, but he doesn't move from his place on the couch.

"I thought you would have left by now," She says dropping her eyes.

Ziva heads into the kitchen and Tony follows her slowly, the ache in his chest growing with every step.

"I was worried about you, you didn't take your phone," he said gesturing to the thing on the table as they pass.

Ziva shrugs and lies "didn't think about it."

Tony hovers his eyes following her as she moves around the kitchen, finally when she can't take it any more she says, "why are you still here tony?"

"I wanted to make sure you were okay, I didn't want you to be alone."

"Well I am fine so you can go."

"Ziva please don't." His voice is thick with pain and concern and her resolve waves for a moment.

The moment is long enough for him to touch her arm softly and turn her to face him. He can see the conflicting emotions battling on her face before they disappear behind the calm mask.

"You should leave Tony."

"I though we were past this?" He says softly.

She pulls away and turns to the bedroom. "I'm going to have a shower; I don't want you to be here when I get out."

Ziva disappears into the bedroom and he watches her go, there is nothing else he can do, as he hears the lock click. Tony leaves locking the door behind him; he thought they were past this.


	3. Rain

Chapter Two: Rain

A/N: Thank you all who have reviewed, story alerts and favorite stories!

Disclaimer: Not mine, and if you thought different then you are either sadly mistaken or know something that I don't.

~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~

_"You should leave Tony." _

_ "I though we were past this?" He says softly. _

_ She pulls away and turns to the bedroom. "I'm going to have a shower; I don't want you to be here when I get out." _

The bedroom door closes behind her with a snap, and Ziva feels her knees buckle beneath her. Leaning against the cool smooth wood surface of her door is the only thing keeping her on her feet. From the other side of the door she hears Tony moving around. Part of her hopes that he will come after her, but she prays that he will leave, and quickly before her knees really do give out.

Another wave of sickness passes through her and Ziva knows that if she doesn't fall she is at least going to be sick. The cool kiss of the wood against her skin steadies her if only for a moment, but it won't last.

Ziva hears the front door snap shut, and her legs give out. Her tears are falling carelessly before she ever hits the ground.

She wanted him to leave, needed him to leave her with her secrets, but now that he's gone it feels like there is a rock weighing down on her heart. She knows that they are back to where they started, perhaps further than that, and she knows it's her fault, but it was the only thing she could do. Some secrets have to stay just that, secrets.

~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~

Her phone rings off and on for the rest of the morning. Ziva watches as the screen lights up, and Abby, McGee, Ducky, and Tony's names flash on the screen for several seconds before it all goes dark and the ringing stops.

There is a chill in her apartment that sends a shiver threw her, but Ziva doesn't get up to turn on the heat. She sits curled up on her couch with her gun pressing against her chest watching as her phone lights up and goes dark, and listening to the soft echoing of the rain falling outside.

Her tears have dried but the weight in her chest hasn't gone away. It's a combination of pain and fear that she can't make go away.

It's almost midday when she hears the knock on her front door. She doesn't want to answer it, and intends to ignore it like she had been ignoring the phone, at least until she hears his voice.

"David, open the door."

There is no question or request in his voice, and a small smile tugs at her lips as she stands on shaky legs. He is the only one that hasn't called, so of course he would be the one to show up.

"Lunch," he grunts showing her the bags of takeout when she slides the door open.

Without a word Ziva moves aside and lets Gibbs into her apartment. She follows him into her kitchen her eyes trained on his back. They both take up a stool at her counter and eat the Chinese food in silence. It's warm and delicious and for the first time that day Ziva realizes how cold and hungry she actually is.

They spend the meal in silence, but it has the comfort of an old friendship, and a safety that she has become accustom to.

Finally when all the food is gone, and Ziva has made them both a cup of coffee, she breaks the silence with an unsteady voice, "why are you here Gibbs?"

He gives her dark look over his coffee and she gives him a sad smile.

"I don't want to talk to them."

"They're worried."

"I know."

"They love you,"

Ziva drops her eyes she doesn't want to hear this. She knows its true, they have shown it in a hundred ways in the last few months, but its dancing to close to the things she is trying to forget, so she pushes it aside intent on pretending he hadn't said it at all.

"We love you," He corrects.

That catches her attention and she looks up at him before she can think better of it. He is watching her with a strange expression on his face. She can't remember the last time her father said he loved her, or looked at her the way Gibbs is looking at her now, with tender love and concern. The weight in her chest seems to grow heavier and the tears that she thought were long gone sting her eyes.

"I'll be okay." Ziva murmurs surprise dancing across her face as she fights to keep the glittering tears from falling.

Gibbs gives her a rare smile and says "yes you will."

~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~

She comes back to work the next day, not because Gibbs told her she had to, but because she knows she has to. She sits at her desk and does her paper work, and her eyes never meet any of theirs. It's not a strange coincidence, although if they asked she would say it was, but she doesn't meet there eyes because she is afraid of what they might see, or what she will.

When the call comes in, a dead lieutenant found in Riverside Park, she picks up her pack and follows the team out in silence.

Ziva stays quiet and close by Gibbs side hoping that he will stay with her. Its not that she needs him to protect her, she can do that herself, but she fells better when he's close, and he doesn't seem to mind. Besides by being close to Gibbs she can keep as much distance between her and Tony as possible.

When Ducky says the pretty little dead lieutenant was raped she doesn't really shiver and slide a little closer to Gibbs, she doesn't really, but it's just that he seems a little closer than he had before.

Tony knows, and even avoiding him she can feel him tense as his eyes fall on her. Tony knows but its McGee's voice that stops Ducky's explanation of the rape and torture. Her eyes fly up to meet Tony's, surly he wouldn't have told them, he wouldn't would he, but the surprise in his eyes that are now on Tim relaxes her. No he wouldn't, she has to believe that or she really will go mad.

She knows that Tony is watching her, and that his eyes aren't the only ones that suddenly seek her, but she avoids him, and everyone except Gibbs. There are so many things that they want to know and to many things that she can't tell them. Not yet, maybe not ever.

~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~ NCIS ~

Vance calls Gibbs into his late in the afternoon, and again all eyes seem to fall on her, but this time they quickly slide away.

Ziva watches him move up the stairs, and can't help but wonder if it is about her, about Eli, maybe. Catching herself Ziva gives herself a little shake. She is being paranoid and needs to stop, but the gnawing worry doesn't go away, and even when he is inside the office she can't help but glance up curiously.

"Gibbs," Vance doesn't bother looking up when the door opens and snaps shut suddenly.

Once not to long ago Leon had thought that Gibbs had absolutely no disciple, no respect, but he had been wrong, and he was man enough to admit it, even just to himself. Gibbs and those on Gibbs team were unique. It was the reason they caused him so much trouble, but it was also why they were so damn good. It was why he put up with them, and why he cleaned up after the mess they often left behind them.

"You wanted to see me Leon."

Picking up a file Vance read, "Lieutenant, Junior Grade Rachael Sharp."

Gibbs movement was subtle but it drew Vance's gaze. He wasn't really surprised that he didn't have to explain it.

"Can she handle it?"

"Ziva is a good investigator," Gibbs said simply.

"Jethro you know what I mean."

The two men were silent for several moments.

When Vance sighed rubbed his brow the tension in the room fell away. "Her first real case and it's a rape and torture."

Both men sigh.

"I thought you would want to handle this yourself, Jethro. If she can't handle you need to take her off the case."

Gibbs glares at Vance but the director simply gives him a small nod.

Turning on his heel, Gibbs reaches the door before Vance's voice stops him.

"That kiss was … passionate."Vance finished lamely.

"Deal with your team Gibbs on all counts, but don't forget she's not safe yet, we still have a debt to pay."

"I haven't forgotten Leon."

Looking down at his team below Gibbs feels a familiar tug in his chest.

Ziva is busy doing something on her computer her eyes trained on it, afraid to look up. He knows she can feel her teams' eyes on her, McGee and Tony's are practically burning into her, but she won't look up.

McGee and Tony share a worried glance before looking back at Ziva, finally returning to their work. Their eyes flickering back to her as the moments pass and she shifts uncomfortably trying to ignore them.

For now Gibbs would let Leon worry about Amira and the price of her help, right now he had to worry about his team, or it may not matter, they may lose her anyway.

Gibbs entered the bullpen and barked loudly, "David, my office now!"

He would take care of his team now, and worry about the price later.


End file.
